I have had some dim reports from other travelers about the pure impossibility to get into Vietnam on a big motorbike. On the other hand I believed that my lucky star will still shine and I will be the exception to what was starting to sound like a rule. When I got to the border even the Cambodian customs told me that the Vietnamese seem to be turning all motorbikes back but that I didn’t have to worry as they are ready to cancel my exit from Cambodia and let me back into the country. “Oh great!! No, I am going to be an exception!” I kept telling myself.

And really, all was looking well when the Vietnamese side started processing me. When I had an entry stamp in my passport they took me to a police station (apparently, but it didn’t have any signs to confirm that) where a single non-uniformed policeman started processing my bike with the help of an interpreter. Even here all begun reasonable smoothly. I had all the paperwork the policeman, who didn’t look into my eyes the whole time, required and I also had all the copies he requested ready for him to keep. I simply didn’t give them a single hook to hook on and refuse my request to enter Vietnam with my bike. Things were still going to turn bad though… :-(

Now, with the advantage of a hind side, I know that the only purpose of this couple is to turn bikies back at any cost. What I am not sure of though is if they are playing god and having pure personal fun or if they have this ordered from higher places.

What followed was a bundle of pure bullshit. They tried several things and played a few little tricks on me. Among the first more obvious ones was that the policeman pretended that he didn’t believe that my motorbike registration was valid and that the paper I was showing to him and the copy, which he already held were genuine documents issued by the Australian government. In this case I had several other ways to prove they were, including the registration sticker on the bike and third party insurance, so he eventually had to abandon this path he was going to refuse me through.

From among the “subtler” tricks they tried was when the policeman left the room to have a fag or something and the interpreter told me that he was not an employee of the police at all and that he was there to help me. Then he continued that he would like to get a better paying job with one of the international companies in Ho Chi Ming City (Saigon) an if I could introduce him to some. I could see through him like through a clear glass… I told him that I didn’t know anybody – neither a company nor a person – in the whole Vietnam. In my case I was telling the truth but I wouldn’t had told him even if I did know somebody in Vietnam.

With this ploy of theirs unsuccessful they came up with a heavier caliber. First they wanted me to sign a blank form that looked almost identical to one we just filled in. However, it was different. I refused to sign a blank form of course and told them that I was happy to wait until this form was filled in as well. “No, sign it now, we will fill it later. We are very tired now.” was the answer. This last sentence I was going to hear a few more times after that. I reasoned with them again and again and again… “If you don’t sign he (the policeman) won’t let you in” I heard from the mouth of the interpreter. I reasoned some more until the self-proclaimed “independent” interpreter almost led my hand in his effort to get me to sign. At the end I signed with the words: “I was asked to sign a blank form:” preceding my signature. That visibly pissed them off but we continued processing the bike and the form was forgotten.

At the end the policeman told me that he would hold on to the original of my Australian drivers license until I would return back to the same border 5 days later, as that was the date of expiration of my visa. That, of course, I had to refuse as well and reasoned again. Firstly I couldn’t leave an official personal document of Australia to anybody to hold, secondly I would need the license to show to the police inside the country in case I was stopped by them and thirdly I need to exit into China on the other side of the country and not go back to Cambodia. Here we go again: “If you don’t leave the license with him he won’t let you in” says the interpreter. So I reason with him again. “If the police stop you then you can show them the photocopy of your license that you have. He needs the original to report to higher places.” comes from the interpreter’s mouth. What a heap of bullshit!!! Unbelievable!

That was it. The policeman left after some more assertive reasoning from my side while I was still trying to keep a friendly smile on my face. Even after that I sat there for another half an hour in my effort to get them both back to the “negotiation table”. I even offered that I was prepared to pay some money if that was necessary to get through. I’m not sure if it was because I never learned how to offer bribes or if this whole “game” was not about money, but after the interpreter came back after asking the policeman the answer was “No, he wants you to go back to Cambodia.”. Wow, wasn’t that productively spent morning and first part of the afternoon…

I was now looking for some help from the customs officers who seemed to be “normal humans” – nice and as helpful as they could be. Unfortunately without the certificate for my bike from the police they couldn’t let it through. They invited me into their offices and called their bosses who sat with me, reading through some papers and regulations, trying to find a way what else they could do for me. Tea was offered and re-filled every time my cup seemed too empty. At the end it was clear that my only chance was to go into Vietnam without my bike and try to get around this single policeman  and his “Refuse. Refuse! REFUSE!” mode.

The customs offered that I could leave my bike in their open garage. It is a risk to leave it there with all the equipment on in but I had to take the risk. I told them that it would be for one night only…

I was now heading to Tay Ninh – the capital city of this province. I was hoping to be ale to speak to some superior officers of the problematic guy at the border. This city is about 40 km far from the border and I was offered a moto-taxi for USD5 to get me there. I was almost sitting on the pillion seat of the bike when I see a customs officer gesturing at me to sit next to him on a bench. This ordinary officer was nice to me before so I took my helmet off and sat next to him. After he asked me how much I ws going to pay for the ride and my answer “5 US dollars” he turned to the other officers who kind of arranged the ride for me and to the driver and in an upset voice it was clear he was saying something like: “You bloodsuckers, can’t you see that this man is having big problems right now and you are still trying to take advantage of him!”. After that he said that it should be about USD2 but that his friend was just going to Tay Ninh and that he would take me with him. See - you can find nice people everywhere!

The 38 kilometers to Tay Ninh took over an hour to cover. The traffic in Vietnam is really slow with lots of other bikes, people and animals on the road. I don’t think we’ve passed a single passenger car. The highest speed we reached was about 45 km / h. In Tay Ninh this guy first took me to a hotel, which I explained was not my price category. So he took me to a Mini Motel where the cheapest room was for 70 000 Dong, which is about USD4.50. Before he left I offered some money but he refused.

Not accepting the first offer again I set off on foot to try to find something cheaper. After walking about 2 kilometers and thinking maybe how stupid and stubborn I was to walk in my riding gear (I had to take it with me since I couldn’t fit it into any of the bike’s panniers thanks to the numerous protectors of knees, hips, elbows etc. inside it) in such a hot weather just to save another dollar on my accommodation cost, I asked some people in a shop again how far I still had to go. They didn’t say how far but confirmed that I was walking in the right direction. They told me that I could go with their friend on a motorbike. At least I thought it was just their friend after the previous experience… We rode just a little over a hundred meters and there it was. I thanked the guy and went inside to ask for their price. The cheapest room was again 70 000 Dong. I mentioned that that was still too much for my budget. The guy behind the reception desk could not speak English but other guy standing next to me asked me in very good English what I could afford. I told him that my budget was about USD3 and he replied that I did’t have to worry and that he was going to take care of me. There was apparently a guesthouse just behind the corner for 40 000 Dong.That sounded good. As I didn’t have any local money he even exchanged USD5 for me at an exchange rate I was told by one of the customs officers that I asked earlier that day. Only later I found that what he told me was a bit higher than the real exchange rate and so I in fact got more Dong than I should had gotten from this guy for my dollars.

Before we exchanged the money I asked this guy where had he learned English so well. The answer surprised me this time, as I wasn’t expecting it. He was in fact an Australian(!) living in Melbourne for the last 15 years. “Hey mate!” ;-) He was here visiting his new wife. His English name is David.

So David told me not to worry and that he would arrange everything for me. He kept the 40 000 Dong for the guesthouse (XXXXXXX)as he was going to pay it for me. He also paid the driver of the bike who got me there 5000 Dong after he requested 10 000 (I told David It was only 100m and 5000 seems to be the minimum the driver gets here when you use his services). Then David went with me to arrange things in the guesthouse. After that we agreed that we would meet again in half an hour and that he would write on paper in Vietnamese what I needed from the police tomorrow morning.

“So this is the reward I get for walking hot in my riding gear and searching for still a bit cheaper place to stay…” I thought to myself in my new room before meeting David again. After the lowest point of my journey so far that I had this morning this raised my mood to much higher altitudes again. I couldn’t help thinking about what my grandmother said when I was born and about what my mother never fails to remind me whenever something good happens to me. When I was born my grandmother apparently said that I was born under a lucky star. And although I usually tell my mother that what looks like luck to her is in fact something I worked very hard towards, this time I really felt I was lucky to meet David. But then again, if I wasn’t following my “rule” on not accepting the first offer and gave up walking just because I was hot, tired and down I would not ever have met David.

When we met again we went to a restaurant and David told me that he would actually come to the police with me in the morning to help me arrange what I needed. After that we had some typical Vietnamese food and beer (followed by water on my side as I usually don’t drink beer at all) and we talked about many things. Later that night we were joined by David’s brother in law (living in the USA) and his dad and an uncle.

Before we went to get some sleep we agreed to meet at 6:45 the next morning to go to the police together.

(40km)